Rajini all the way

Why did the British leave INDIA iN 1947? 

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Because they came to kNow a baby Named RajiNikaNth will be borN iN 1949!! 

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The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually rajnikanth''s signature. 

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Rajnikanth once wrote his autobiography... 

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Today that book is known as Guiness Book of World records.. 

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1+0=1 

1*0=0 

1-0=1 

den 

1/0=? 

dis was d qstion 1ce asked 2 RAJNIKANTH nd he said, 

"I dnt kno!" 

Thats why it's declared as 

"Not Defined"..! 

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Rajnikanth doesn't shave... 

he just looks in the mirror and dares hairs to grow...!! 

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Part of apple's logo dat is missing was eaten by Rajnikanth... 

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Once while playing Rajnikanth said "STATUE" to a person......... 

Now that person is known as "STATUE OF LIBERTY".... 

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** Breaking news ** 

Rajnikanth...... 

got shot yesterday . . 

today is the bullet''s funeral...!! 

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What is that rajnikanth can do..that we cant even think of doin it..?! 

He can answer a missed call.! 

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Breaking News: 

Rajnikanth Presented A Cheque 

& 

;-)The Bank Bounced:-D 

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Did U ever wonder...?? 

Wat does GOD exclaim when he is shocked? 

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'Oh my RAJNIKANTH!!!!!' 

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Government pays TAX to Rajnikant for working in India........... 

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Awesum fact.., 

Rajnikant has counted infinity twice.! 

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Rajnikant creats his new mail i.d. 

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Gmail@rajnikant.com 

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USA POWER 

vs 

INDIAN POWER 

USA- 

10000 nuclear weapons, 600000 army, 10000 tanks, 

12000 air force, 3000 ships 

INDIA- 

*RAJNIKANTH* 

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Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay him back... 

That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs... 

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A child went2 Kashmir& startd playing by making small mountains from ice. 

Today those mountains are called "Himalyas" 

& 

That child name is 

RAJNIKANTH 

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FaceBooK founder Mark Zukerberg hospitalized with serious injury.. 

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Rajnikanth poked him on Facebook. 

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Why does rajnikanth wear sunglasses? 

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To protect the sun from his eyes! 

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a 22 whealer huge truck once met with an accident against RAJINIKANTH 

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Since then, 

it is called TATA NANO. 

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Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, 

and got it. 

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Rajinikanth does push-ups, 

he isn't lifting himself up. 

He is pushing the earth down. 

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Basketball player to RAJNIKANT: 

I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hours ... can u ??? 

rajnikanth: yena rascala, how do u think the earth spins?? mind it... 

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Spider man,superman,batman,james bond, ironman, shaktiman, krish all visited rajnikanth. 

Do u know which day it was? 

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GURU POURNIMA! 

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BREAKING NEWS..... 

FACEBOOK HAS NOW JOINED ""RAJNIKANTH"" 

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Once when rajnikant was playing cricket ,he played a defensive shot... 

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And now that ball is called... 

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" PLUTO " 

Rajnikant once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, 

he is now called 50 cent..!! 

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RAJNIKANT enters BIGG BOSS 4... 

next day ... 

RAJNIKANT chahte hai ki BIGG BOSS confession room me aayein!!! 

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Rajnikanth once farted after a heavy meal... 

The gas today is known as ozone layer 

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Once a guy winked at Rajnikanth's wife, Rajni twisted his limbs and broke his eyelid. 

We now know him as Baba Ramdev.. 

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Rajnikanth and Superman once had arm wrestled and the loser had to wear his Underwear over his pants.. 

We all know who won..!! 

Rajnikant and Amitabh

Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachchan one day, "You know, I know everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting,Amitabh called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?" 

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it"Rajini said. 

 So Rajini and Amitabh fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts: --- 

"Thalaiva! Great to see you! 

You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!" 

...Although impressed,Amitabh is still skeptical. 

 After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was Just lucky. 

"No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says  .."President Obama", Amitabh quickly retorts 

 ..."Yes",Rajini says, "I know him." 

 And off they go. 

At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying :---- 

"Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up". 

Well, AmitabhBachchan is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. 

After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to name anyone else. 

         

"The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies 

..."Sure!" says Rajini, 

"My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope a long time".

 Rajini and Amitabh are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, 

         "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. 

Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." 

         And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican .. 

Sure enough, half an hour laterRajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony. 

         But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachchan has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. 

Working his way toAmitabhBachchan's side, Rajini asks him, What happened?"

         AmitabhBachan looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me asked, 

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"Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"

Thoughts from Man's heart

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2

The average man's life consists of: Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too where he is going.

Thought 3

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced :'Ladies and Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life ...' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my Credit Card to me.'The whole audience including the priest started laughing . . . . But not the poor Groom!!!

And now the Best one. . . . .

Thought 4

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.'The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. 'Who are you? ''I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered.'Oh, yeah?' the man said 'And where the Hell were you when I got married?'

Newton and Rajnikant

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster.. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun....Bang.. .the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast! <> The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton Commits Suicide!!!